What’s the point of telling me of what we could have had or something as explicitly known as what I don’t? I could only listen to you tell me how guilty you feel towards me all these years and say, what’s happened cannot be undone. I’m growing up and I can handle this. No time machine to reverse what was done. I was born and that is that. Don’t add on to my miseries at the same time you’re adding on to yours. I can only be as strong as you are.
Angsty day. Long day at school and I was anticipating dinner with the boy. Just our weekly dinner on Wednesdays. We have been together for 39 months and a day now. Time flies and we joked about how we should change partners already. Other than that we never said anything else about this ‘occasion’.
At 6ish pm the traffic jam were really bad. I got frustrated waiting for the buses that came and left because it was packed and nobody could board. Finally a bus came. WX and I talked about random things. About prawning. I asked her how much it costs to prawn and was shocked by how expensive it is to catch prawns in a pond. The money each person has to pay for a three-hour session can buy you 3kgs of fresh prawns. I suppose I might only go prawning if I was feeling rich or if I didn’t have to pay AND I must eat the prawns.
At 740 I finally got to my destination and met ym.
I got angry when he didn’t let me have a stick to myself.
I got angry when he didn’t let me buy fishballs from old chang kee before dinner because there was a long queue.
I was so upset, more sad than angry, that I couldn’t even get what I want. These are such small matters and I can’t even have it my way. So upset.
So I pushed him away. Pretended that I had no interest in whatever he was telling me about his job interview assessment. Hit him. Punched his chest. Kicked his balls when he came too close.
But all is well. He treats me good. I am as temperamental as… myself. Bleh
And then I bought Gelaré. One scoop in a cup. I had cookie dough and chips in vanilla. The icecream was good but guess what, that expensive cup of gelato started leaking! There’s a fucking hole at the side of the paper cup. Godamnit my hand were dripping with icecream, just like a 5-year-old. And that boy, I accidentally fed him a spoon with chocolate chip in it. He wanted to spit it out! That horrible boy. He didn’t, but he wanted me to eat it! I didn’t.
I am tired, my eyes are strained from staring so long at the screen. Goodnight
Omg, everything I typed and uploaded just disappeared when I clicked ‘Enter’ a few times?! Ok fine, just recompose everything that I wrote, no biggie. *chill*
Last Sunday I turned 19 and I felt so blessed to have my friends, boyfriend and family celebrate my birthday for me. Never expected gifts from my friends so I was surprised over and over again throughout the week with their very sweet and thoughtful gestures :’) Really appreciate it that they made time for me on a Sat night though it was obviously an assignment-crammed weekend - it’s the infamous Week 5 in school. And there’s my parents, who had wanted to celebrate for an entire day though I eventually refused in a subtle manner, because there’s really no need to spend an entire day at the mall/ feasting for 3 meals straight/ going to the zoo for the Nth time (trust me that’s the way my family celebrates bdays) so we decided on dinner at my favourite steamboat place! Then there’s the lovely boy of mine, who took such good care of me when we’re out drinking with my friends that Sat night (♥v♥). Not to mention that he got me a rather pretty watch though the figures in his bank account were not very optimistic, haha.
Turning 19, I feel older when I fill out surveys and realise that I no longer belong to the ‘13-18’ age group and instead I have to join the 20-somethings when being studied by researchers. Of course more importantly I feel like I’m growing up too quickly and the thought of becoming an adult, or young adult for that matter, just sucks. The only part I’d embrace is the freedom but not the responsibilities. See how immature I am…
But anyway, here are some photos we took in the day… I’ve yet to resize the rest so we’ll see how long procrastination will take me. (ALL IN!) In fact I’m supposed to be working on my PR assignment due this coming Monday and I have not started on it.
Early dinner at 313’s dtf and then we headed to Plaza Sing to catch “You’re the Apple of My Eye”. Idk how to describe the show but it made me cry? Really good show.
On our way to meet the rest at Clarke Quay!
Headed to Chupitos~ Paddlepop/ Sourplum??/ Milo shots! They even had Listerine shots wtf why would any pay so much for mouth-rinsing liquid -.-
They bought me a Waterfall and I died after that.
We’re in the midst of playing circle of death when I happened to look at the time and realized that it was 12. So I was like, ‘pause pause pause! it’s 12!’
Hahaha lapdance from ym! ♥
When we left Chupitos, we met George Young outside and I (shamelessly) asked him if he could wish me happy birthday. He did, gave me a hug and suddenly carried me when we’re taking a photo together OMG. And, the photo turned out blur -.- The other one which was sharp is super unflattering, more than this photo, so I shall not post it.
Daddy dearest ♥
Super thankful to everyone, even those who couldn’t make it. I’m blessed ♥ Muacks~
Ending this superrrr long post with my adorbz face
Tiny accomplishment of the night. Moving on… assignments. I can’t wait to drown in them tomorrow. I ate too much today and I realize that my tolerance for stupid people is getting lower. I am sleepy, goodnight. It’s Friday!
Current level of contentment with life is… uhm… 6/10? Which is pretty high already IMO. Shall work towards a 9/10 and I’ll reward myself with the equivalence of shiny stickers on primary school worksheets as I trudge through this thing I call Life.
My family, boyfriend and friends have been good to me. God is good.